


saying your names

by zauberer_sirin



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:32:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4948534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/pseuds/zauberer_sirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way he says her name(s) is always changing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	saying your names

**one**

These days she's mostly "Agent Johnson" first thing in the morning, said with a smile and a knowing nod; answered with a "Director" and a smirk (the days when she smiles, the bad ones she's not Agent Johnson, the bad ones normally come after a sleepless night and have no name) and followed by some light teasing, some "Did you sleep well, sir?" or "Had nice dreams, sir?" or something equally innocent that might be mistaken for flirting if they were any other two people in the world, but they aren't.

It's "Agent Johnson" who hands him his favorite coffee mug (the one he refuses to admit it's his favorite but she knows because Daisy knows and Skye knows) and walks side by side with him to the office while he talks about what they have planned for today, mission talk, shouldering sharing burdens

 

+

 

She is "Daisy" when everyone else has left the room.

When the mission gets tough and they have to make a decision, it's always "Daisy" said in that solemn tone when he wants to reach out and grab her arm gently and she looks at him like she knows that.

It's Daisy Johnson on official papers and she's still on the Index and it's Coulson's name under hers on that file, as ultimate responsible.

It's "Daisy... can you hear me?" when she gets hurt and the comms falter and the next thing Coulson knows is that he is kneeling next to her, slipping his arm under her shoulder to hold her up and he's not sure which one looks paler.

Daisy is the one who overuses her powers to protect people and then crashes, spent, and it's always just Daisy who wakes up much later and Daisy who eats in exhausted silence a humble meal Coulson prepared for her. Daisy who looks up from the couch when she finishes and never forgets to thank him for this.

Daisy still listens to his records from time to time.

It's Daisy after things go south and people get hurt and at the end of the day the world keeps spinning with the promise of another tomorrow and more struggles, more pain, and the only thing Coulson can do is sit by Daisy's side in the kitchen and drink with her in silence, or talk about anything else but the day they've had, both of them surprised when either of them says something humorous and the other chuckles, after the day they've had.

 

+

 

She's still "Skye" when he slips, and sometimes Daisy is benevolent and smiles with gentleness at him, and sometimes it even looks like she's grateful for it, grateful that someone is still keeping Skye alive, unable to let go. And maybe if it's Coulson then she doesn't have to be the one.

She is still "Skye" because sometimes he doesn't have time to think twice about it; and sometimes when he's frustrated or angry or they are in the middle of a heated argument. She doesn't like it then, like it comes out of him like water pouring from cracks in the rock, because it's a show of thoughtlessness and Coulson stops himself then, everything inside him goes quiet at her glare, and he apologizes and says "Skye" again, just different, in a way that makes Daisy nod.

It's still "Skye" in nightmares of collapsing ruins and petrified horrors and blue alien blood, but all those times he is alone, with no one to hear him use the wrong name.

 

**two**

She becomes "Agent Johnson" in tight, clipped tones these days, when there's this tense distance between them that neither are brave enough to put a name on, so they go with the names they do know, the ones they have been using for months, years. It's "Agent Johnson" when he would like to pull rank but remembers he's never done that before. Agent Johnson who takes risks because she feels responsible, Agent Johnson who is too valuable to the organization, and too effective to bench even when she looks like she needs it. 

Agent Johnson is a soldier.

 

+

 

It's "Daisy" when he finally tries to reach out to her. Daisy on the bad days of fading bruises and a feeling of impotence, and Coulson does not believe there is something in this universe strong enough to defeat her but the little war, the daily battles, those can be lost.

Daisy who needs to stop punishing herself for every person killed by the hand of an Inhuman _she made_ (her expression, never Coulson's choice of words, there are names she will call herself he will never be able to call her) and maybe if Coulson said her name the right way she would.

It's Daisy who is afraid of getting close to someone else again, Daisy who thinks she will lose him if that happens, Daisy who is terrified of losing him of all people, Daisy who puts Coulson in the position he never thought he'd find himself in, the position of having to be the brave one and make that leap himself.

She's "Daisy, please" right before the first time he kisses her.

 

+

 

He goes back to "Skye" when he can't stop himself, trapped between her legs that first time, against the desk, as she smiles tenderly at Coulson's mistake and touches her index to his chin and says "It's fine" kissing his jaw, says "I won't hold it against you this time" and she listens closely for the next time he breathes the wrong name, the right name, breathes her.

 

**three**

She is just "Agent Johnson" if the press asks, if some other agency asks, with the rush of secrecy like an electrical current between them in group reunions or when the journalists manage to catch them. It drips pride and awe, of course, this new incarnation of "Agent Johnson", because it's always changing, the way he says her name, even in public it's always changing. He says "Agent Johnson" the way he used to say "Captain Rogers".

She's starting to become Quake to others and when he tries it out she tells him to "keep to Agent Johnson for now, that's all I am, your Agent Johnson" and she didn't mean it like that (maybe she's more of a professional than Coulson is) but he can't help but smirk and touch her waist lightly, "You're _my_ Agent Johnson?" just to see her roll her eyes softly at him.

 

+

 

She's always "Daisy" among their little chosen family, Daisy presiding the table when designing an op, crosslegged on the couch sharing good beer and bad jokes with her team, Daisy training with the new recruits, Daisy in the lab always eager to learn new things, Daisy on comms showing everybody the way in the darkness, Daisy who still needs to eat for ten people at the end of the day but her team already knows her and makes fun of her for it, Daisy who barely has a moment to herself and she has to steal away to her quarters between important meetings to catch a quick shower and curl her body around Coulson's fingers for a while, hair drying off as she walks through the base in a hurry, it's Daisy who sometimes allows herself to be late.

 

+

 

He keeps "Skye" like a precious personal privilege, on late nights when she's too tired and sore to move and Coulson digs his thumb into the knots on her shoulder, the back of her neck, and he whispers all of her names, because he's loved them all, even the new one she's now sharing with him, to let her know it's okay to be Skye again sometimes, still searching and scared and brave, it's okay to feel lonely and unloved for a little bit as Coulson reminds her that was the girl he fell in love with first.


End file.
